How did you decide to go gray?

I started the transformation in 2016. Before I started, I was following a lot of silver ladies on social media and even joined 5 or 6 Facebook groups.

The first six months, it was really painful. It’s hard not to see yourself as ugly and everything falls apart in terms of your perception of yourself. 

What grow-out method did you use?

I did it cold turkey. I started growing it out in October and went into winter. Because I wasn’t going into the office, I wore hats everywhere. When spring came, I was wondering what I should do. I ended up doing a shorter cut in the front and longer in the back to cut the ends, so I only had color at the ends.

Then I thought, I don’t like the long black ends… what if I cut it shorter? I took a barber’s razor and cut my hair into a really nice pixie. It looked really interesting, like I did the black dye at the ends on purpose.

I was inspired by young women asking about how I did my hair color. That felt really freeing. I was no longer having to color my hair and I looked really young with this pixie cut.

I was living in Ukraine at the time. That culture does not support women of younger age going gray because I have friends who were going through the same thing. I started to go gray at age 35.

One day my friends and I were walking together, and one friend’s hair grows fast and we both have the skunk line. Another friend who was with us told us, “You have to dye your hair.”

How long did it take?  

In about one year it was done. I already had a bob and it was really fine. My friends got used to the gray hair.

There was no culture of people having gray hair in Ukraine so I was getting stopped everywhere. People could not believe someone outside of their senior years had gray hair, and that was one of the reasons I was so successful there.

I was scouted on Facebook due to my gray hair. My agent found me on Facebook around 2018 or 2019, and so it took me about one year and then by my second booking, I was in a Macy’s campaign.

One of the reasons I was so successful back home was because my look was so unusual. Before the war started, Ukraine was a very popular destination for commercials and I did a lot of auditions with clients like Macy’s, Samsung and Virgin Media.

At 45, I became a model. I taught English at a University before that. My friends and family were surprised and then really happy this happened to me.

How did you make the decision to go gray?

My body asked for it. I had to touch-up the roots every two days. Next day after that, you’d see the silver already. I was touching up the roots a lot. My scalp was burnt. It was always itching. It was flaking.

I started to arrange the coloring around the events in my life, which was annoying. You know when you have an event and there will be photographs. I was coloring just around the face to save my scalp. For an event, I was coloring all the roots.

At some point, my hair stopped absorbing the color. Most of my life I was using black with blue undertones. Then I started to use black with a warm undertone. Eventually I discovered that the color was not absorbing — black was not absorbing, only the blue undertone was showing — I looked like Avatar. 

Then I tried to change the hair undertone to black/brown. And still, only the brown undertones showed. I was done experimenting. That is enough. I’m going to let it go. I’m going to let my hair and scalp be healthy. And because of the hair dye, my hair was shedding. One month after I stopped coloring, you could see growth. I realized that I stopped poisoning my scalp and now I have lush hair.

Now when people see my hair, they are amazed by how lush it is.

What were your biggest fears about going gray?

What’s been your biggest surprise?

I forgot how I look with black hair. I really cannot imagine myself with black hair again.

Back home, there was one situation where I had to use a black wig. There was one company where I was shooting a commercial and I had to be the mom. When they shortlisted me and I met with the director, they asked me if I would dye my hair black for the commercial because in their country it is not conventional for women not to dye their hair. And so they asked me if I would dye mine. I’d been growing my hair for two years and then asked to dye my hair for one day of filming, which meant I would not be back in the market for two years, but I did have a black wig. I thought, I can wear a black wig. They didn’t want the wig. They thought it would be visible. I did not do the job and declined the dye. 

People do not realize what a long process it is. I actually look at my hair now as an asset because it gave me so much work. Some photographers would dedicate an additional 10-15 minutes just to my hair.

The surprise is how people react to my hair in a positive way. But I heard so many times from women with dyed hair who compliment it, but always say “I could not rock it.” You will not understand until you go through the process for at least four months. You’ll never know until you try. You’ll never know until you grow it out. Some people do not know you can have gray hair at a younger age and think I color mine.

People think this hair color cost me a fortune. When the war started, I had to flee the country and I ended in Germany and it was a big surprise to see so many women walking around with gray hair. To see how women accept their changes. 

When I came to Canada, there were even more gray-haired ladies here. It was a big surprise to me. Where I’m from, it’s acceptable to go gray when you’re 65 and up. My mom, for example, she doesn’t color her hair, but she is naturally blonde. She’s a blondie, so it’s easier to blend. Now sometimes she asks to color and she adds a temporary tint but she’s not coloring her hair with a permanent dye. 

Any advice for going gray?

Don’t fear. Do not fear. If you don’t like it you can always color it. Some people think it is irreversible but it’s not. You can also use temporary color spray while you grow it out.

Mask your skunk line for four months so you can see your natural pattern. Join the community and have inspiration. My Pinterest feed was full of gray-haired ladies. I was admiring them and looking at them, at how stylish they are. 

When I went on this Facebook group, and people were posting their before and afters, and I noticed people looked livelier with silver hair. People looked brighter with silver hair. With the dyed black hair, it creates a darkness.